I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart

I think this picture is beautiful. I typed in "Emotional" in an image search, and this is what came up. But sometimes emotions aren't beautiful.  I've had a really hard week. Work has been tough...people keep quitting the internship and no one wants to interview with me. We have a top 10 internship in the country and the #3 best company to sell for in the UNITED STATES but no one even wants an interview. They're scared of commission. I understand, but in a market like this, you'd think we'd have people groveling at our door for an interview.

I've had nightmares almost every night and have been on the verge of tears at one point each day this week. Being a woman and handling emotions carefully is pretty stinking hard. And to top it all off, I think about how much I want a baby at least 10 times a day. WHY DO I WANT A BABY SO BAD?!

I wish I could say that the reason I haven't blogged much this week was because I've been steadily and busily writing my novel...but oh how far that is from the truth! I just kept saying, "oh I'll take a day off" "I'll take a week off..." and so on.  Therefore, I have to start again. And once rehersals start for Seussical the Musical, my free time is going down the drain! ...(Speaking of Seussical, though, it's going to be a really good time. My next entry will be all about it!)

But yes, it's been a crappy week. I felt like I was on a mountain top for a long time, and when I went out of town for the weekend and didn't get rested up at all/didn't get our house clean at all, it just all started sliding downhill. And here I am at the bottom, looking up, wishing I didn't have to climb so hard to get back up.  Lord, I need you to pick me up...

This is my favorite love poem. Just something to pick me up on a day/week like this one.

i carry your heart with me by E. E. Cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)