Friends

If you knew that you were hurting people, would you stop

or get up and move?

If you knew that you were living exclusively,

would you invite more to your banquet table?

If you knew that your friends were alone

would you step out of the world of you?

If you asked me these questions, I don't know what my answer would be.

I know it's a harsh world. I know it's hard to love others as you love yourself. I DO NOT profess to be perfect or close.

But if you would have asked me a year ago, would I ever have written this with you in mind?

That answer I know. I would have said no.

But now we question everything. What are your grounds for friendship? Do you have criteria? What was our friendship based on? And questioning those you thought loved you unconditionally hurts.

What is a friend? Someone who hangs out with you for a time because it's convenient and fun? Maybe it goes a big deeper than that. Perhaps people become friends because they have a lot in common and they make each other laugh. Maybe those people feel like they can be themselves, flaws and all, with a friend. Vulnerability. Loyalty.

I would hope that among Christians, it's deeper than all of those things. Christian friendship is a bond of brotherhood or sisterhood that should unite us in our struggle against flesh and blood. It's an eternal partnership. It should be a relationship where we can be flawed and confess to one another. Accountability. Strength. Biblical. Romans 12:15, "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."

Are there boundary lines for Christian friendship? Yes. There are times in the Bible were Jesus explains that friends can be cut off. We are to confront a Christian brother if he is living in sin. If he doesn't change, we are instructed to bring another Christian friend to confront him with. If he still doesn't respond, bring him in front of the Church. Only after a triple try and a triple refusal of that friend to live out the will of God should we cut our friendship short. It takes a bold Christian friend to confront this intentionally, and I think it's awesome that we have Biblical mandates that are this bold.

Whether you are a Christian or not, siblings are usually great friends because you're united by flesh and blood. You are family. That's why Jesus' friendship to humanity is described as stronger than even this bond. "there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." And for the first time in my life, this verse means something substantial to me. Some of our friends have left us. Our very closest friends live far away. We feel lonely in the friendship sense for the first time in our very social lives. Praise GOD that he is a friend when we need that. He can be a loving father, but he can also be a best friend. I used to say that Jesus was my friend. But I didn't get it, nor do I think I truly meant it. I didn't get it because I thought I didn't need it. Shame on me for not realizing this sooner!!

But oh nellie. =) When your friends in Christ stop including you in their lives because of a difference in theological beliefs, you need Jesus more than ever. It's a freakin lonely world down here without a loving, forgiving community around you. And this is NOT to say that we don't have wonderful friends who have been with us. Thank you to everyone who has surrounded us in prayer and physically in this dark season of our lives. It's just the idea of being forgotten by old friends. Frienships that we thought ran much deeper.

I would love to say that I never have or never will wrongfully abandon or fail my friends or family. I'm writing this to my selfish self too. I would love to say that I will never cease to be there for people when they most need me. But I can't promise that. I'm asking for forgiveness if I have failed you as a friend or sister in Christ. and I'm deeply sorry if I have ever hurt you the way we are hurting right now.

We are all failures and broken and human. Thank God for redemption.

(and we're getting a dog. I heard they're pretty rockin at the whole friendship thing.)

In a sinful world...

Wow it's been a long time since I blogged. I apologize to all 10 of my followers...and I hope that I can still gain your readership back. ;o)

We're loving our house and this wonderful season of life before kids. But the one area right now that's essentially tearing our hearts out is about our church family. A lot of changes have been going on in the last 6 weeks and it has taken a lot of us on a complete roller coaster of feelings and situations. I'd like to address some of the things Kevin and I are experiencing:

1) Fear: Fear that some of the relationships and friendships that were critical in our coming to and growing in faith will cease to remain strong. Proverbs 17:17 "A friend loves at all times."

Fear that we won't be able to please everyone. Galatians 1:10 "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."

Fear that unbeliving friends, family, and onlookers will be disgusted at the lack of forgiveness and mercy within the body of Christ and have no desire to partake in anything of the sort.

2) Relief: Relief because two different visions were preventing the church from growing in harmony.

Relief because so many questions we've had about the Bible and theology are being searched out and discussed passionately.

Relief because our desperate seeking of God through trials is bringing a fresh revelation and hunger for the Holy Spirit and the Word of God.

3) Anger: Anger at Satan for causing dissention.

Anger at Satan for causing people to close their minds and hearts, even to people they love.

Ephesians 4: 31 "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

Col 3:13 " Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." The word of God has more power than our enemy.

Anger at Satan for trying to use this situation for his Glory.

4) Passion and Joy: Passion because a new season invokes all sorts of opportunity.

Passion because we feel God's voice and guidance more clearly than ever before.

Joy because God is in control and he wants to use us in a fresh way.

Things were handled how they were handled, and both "sides" feel that they were handled wrongly by the other side. People were hurt. But when the situation is discussed, it seems as though there's no hint of GRACE and MERCY and FORGIVENESS--even if they were handled in a sinful way. Do we not each sin against our Creator and Savior every single day?

The word speaks repeatedly of "one body." ie. "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace." Colossians 3:15. My study notes say, "The attitude of peace that Christ alone gives replaces the attitude of bitterness and quarrelsomeness. The attitude is to "rule" in all human relationships.

Can we not let go of this desire to "rule" and "be great?" "Humble yourselves...be like that of your servant Christ Jesus...who gave himself up even to the point of death on a cross."

In America do we even know what it means to be humble anymore?

In my next blog, I want to address some of the topics that are being discussed and get your feedback.