Are you ready for a good laugh?!

So I definitely nodded my head and literally belly laughed at a lot of these. Everybody needs a good laugh here and there. So here it goes: (excuse the cuss words, I didn't write these :)

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. I sometimes rename them…..okay MOST of the time I rename them. Usually something really snarky.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent an A-hole from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

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March Madness and a baby!

So I'm back. Contrary to what you may be presupposing, I do NOT enjoy my sabbaticals from blogging. But hey, life happens. LIFE REALLY DOES HAPPEN...because we're having a baby!

Here is the biggest news on the books this month:

1) Kevin and I are having a BABY! A real life bluberry sized child is growing in-utero. Pretty insane if you ask me.

2) Related to #1: the morning sickness has surfaced over the last few days. It seems to be trying to gain lost ground, as I had been experiencing no sickness/nausea for the last month. Dang.

3) Related to #2: Although I haven't thrown up or anything yucky like that, I sleep like an infant. I can't get enough! This kinda depressing activity VERY MUCH infringes on my productivity in life, and I don't like that. I'm a GO GO GO person.

4) I am officially un-addicted to caffiene. This in itself is a true miracle! I have made it a week or two at points in my college and post-college life, but never any more than that! You better appreciate it, little one.

4) It's MARCH MADNESS! and we love it. I thought the pic was fitting, with my belly on its way to basketball size over the next 7.5 months =)

So I have 2 brackets out there, one with Kansas winning and one with Duke winning (even though people have been saying they don't have what it takes. But hey, you never know. I always wish I was a psychic when this time of year comes around!) I'm doing pretty good on my first rounds! It's pretty awesome when I want both teams to win because I don't know which of my brackets is going to bring home the victory yet :)

So basketball is in the background here at my mom's house. I'm back here in good ol' Rochester on a mini "vacation" before a couple crazy weeks of work and then I'll be done recruiting and onto writing full time! So I've spent most of my "vaca" sleeping and feeling sick. A little bit of cooking, reading and writing as well.

It's funny when I tell people we're preggo. They always have lots of interesting things to say about having a baby...like "oh, good luck. I had 3 miscarriages!" and "Eat lots of graham crackers and ginger ale" and "DON'T DYE YOUR HAIR!" lol. Lots of good advice and some that is just weird! If you have any wisdom, feel free to add to the library. I'm writing down what people tell me, and I'm also writing notes to the little one. I found the cutest notebook and it was called the "songbird notebook" on the bar code sticker. So I've decided to nickname our baby "my little songbird" when I write to him/her/it. It's pretty fun and very inspiring. It doesn't feel too real yet though. Jeans are still zipping/buttoning at 7 weeks and 2 days.

More updates to come!

PS. My netflix Queue is empty. What are some good movies for us to rent?! what is your fav? (not scary ones...the little songbird doesn't like those.) Thanks.

I'm the starving artist type

Hey! So big news since I last posted. I'm going to go for it...I'm going to be a starving artist when April rolls around! (but hopefully not starving for long; Kevin intends to feed me I think.=) I talked my boss last week about my decision to pursue writing full-time. He was all smiles! (strangely enough? haha) I think he could tell I was scared, because after he said "You need to do what's right for you" and I thanked him for understanding, he said, "What, did you think I was going to get mad at you or something?" haha. I said, "umm, no? I was just nervous because I care a lot about this job too." He was so understanding and he know's I'll be an all star trainer before I hand the baton off to the next person.

So bottom line, it went extremely well. God's hand seemed to be all over that decision, for so many reasons. The number one was my heart that wouldn't just let go of the idea. When you pray, HE WILL ANSWER. But man, taking the step to actually be obedient and give up a salary and just a great job is difficult when it comes down to knocking on the boss's door!

We've been talking about our "inner GPS" device in my setting goals class. The thinking behind this is that when you repeatedly visualize a goal (being a published, best-selling author, handing out your books and signing them...etc. etc) your mind does whatever it takes to get you there. Now it may not be in a plan or fashion that you created, but it will find a way to create that awareness and make actions that move you closer to your goal.

So when the career fair season (busiest recruiting time) is over, I will be waking up each morning at 6am to go for a walk and get inspired, and spend a few hours at my desk pouring over some masterpieces ;o) (ideal scenario). I'll also be able to keep the house nicer/cleaner and I already have so much peace!! I also am on the hunt for an awesome recruiter to replace myself with...so if you know of anyone who needs a job and is a rock star, let me know.

Man, God is so good. And I'm completely stoked for our writing group that started on Saturday at Panera. Some talented writers there ;o) feel free to come out, it's at Panera at 2pm in Davenport. Bring some stuff you've written and we'll critique each other's work in a professional and loving way. Or email it to me Oliviaishere2@aol.com and we'll add it to the mix.

Now, if God would just answer my prayers about the snow stopping. I'm looking out the window from Dunkin Doughnuts (where I left my debit card last weekend, and they saved it for me!) and looking at the mass of cars trying to drive through the messy, snowy roads. They're overlooked by the brightest white sky that hasn't changed in 36 hours. I can't run in this mess and I have a bad case of cabin fever that only 40+ temps and some blooms can solve (or a tropical vaca? lol). Only so many cups of tea can make the winter cozy, and then it's time for Spring. Freakin' Groundhog.

So what is God and your heart telling you to do?

Amazing Race Baby

So the time has come for us to apply to the most amazing reality show on earth. THE AMAZING RACE. You know it's gotta be good when you have to sign a waiver with this clause in it:

All applicants must be in good physical and mental health and must be aware that, and

sign releases attesting that, the activities in the Program may involve risks and hazards,

and that participating in the Program may expose applicant and other participants to,

among other things, the risk of death, serious injury, illness and property damage

caused by the risks associated with their participation in the Program, including,

without limitation, the following: latent or apparent defects or conditions in any

equipment used in the Program; the use or operation by applicant or others of said

equipment; acts of other people including, without limitation, acts of the Producers or

other participants; accommodations; weather or other natural conditions; the nature of

travel including, without limitation, latent defects and human error; applicant’s

physical condition; applicant’s own acts or omissions; sleep deprivation; first-aid,

medical or emergency treatment or other services rendered to applicant or others;

exposure to illness; consumption of food or drink; acts of God (e.g. earthquakes and

floods); laws or local ordinances; war or riots; terrorism; strikes; and/or no reason at

all. Applicants must understand and acknowledge that the above list of reasons is not

complete or exhaustive. Applicants must accept and assume all risks of injury, death,

illness or disease, or other damage to themselves, to others, or to their property, which

arise in any way from their participation in this Program.

HOLY MOLY. We might die, people. But man would it be amazing. This is assuming that we get chosen for the season that will film in late spring/early summer. February 14th kicks off season 16 so we are going to be watching and studying ;o)

We see ourselves as the next Megan and Cheyne (season 15 winners) but with more experience together and cooler names ;o)

Here's the deal, though. It seems pretty difficult to become the 1 white couple hat isn't inherently cool. They like to pick people who are like 70 year old with 22 year old, or Harlem Globetrotters, or former Miss Americas, or minorities. They haven't had a token Christian couple, so I'm not sure if we can play that card. We'll just have to trust that if we get picked, it was God's will. But we do get to make a 3 minute video, so we have to make that FREAKIN AWESOME.

For our video, we have a few ideas but not a ton. We're going to start out with us doing pullups and other crazy things in the gym, and then I think we're going to tell our top 5 ideas of why we want to be on the amazing race. Anyone have any other crazy-cool ideas we could add?

We're going to have the song "Remember the name" in the background (obviously the clean version). Here are the top 5 reasons that we'll discuss in the video and then I'll post it later this week when we complete it. It will be my fist go at video-editing, so if anyone wants to help let us know...We might pay you a portion of our million dollar winnings... ;o) But we need it done by Friday.

Reason #1: A Physical Challenge

Reason #2: A thirst for competition

Reason #3 We want to see the world

Reason #4 We love people

Reason#5 We want a BIG family

So I wrote out like a little script/screenplay...and here goes nothing!!

Rated "R" experience at Starbucks

I'm sitting on Michigan avenue on a rainy Saturday morning because no other stores or fun coffee shops are open. The city is a bit slower on the weekends I guess. Hope the ice skating rink is equally slow when we go later this afternoon! If it's not cold enough to skate and re-live our engagement (haha) we'll go Shedd Aquarium! How fun!

So to start my day off on the right foot, a couple homeless guys who initially appeared to be getting along got into an F-word fest-fight as I stood waiting for my double skinny vanilla latte to come up on the bar. Needless to say, they were told to remove themselves from the store. Wow, exciting. (I heard it only takes 3 F-words to make a movie Rated "R." Hence, the title of my blog today =)

I'm totally pumped to meet Aubrey at Cosi for lunch, also to get bubble tea and dinner from Joy Yees in Naperville tonight with my sis and see her new crib!

We have been in Chicago for four days now for a big Central Regional meeting for work and it has totally been a blast. We had a couple big dinner/dance parties and I borrowed a couple dresses so I could feel fancy. Fancy is one of my favorite feelings. It makes me feel glamorous and lovely, and maybe a little sexy and fun. ;o)

Being in Chicago just brings back so many memories, big sibs, college friends, modeling stuff (blehh), and being here also invokes my inner shopaholic. I love it!

I'll be heading home in style. Peace out.

To self-publish or to fight your way into a big publisher?

Writing+Reading+drinking coffee and tea=The life I want to live in 2010!

In terms of goals for this year, I guess I have a few. Health and fitness: I'd like to improve even more than I have over this last year. I'd like to get pretty "clean" with the way I eat. but I'm not sure how likely those are to happen, since I made a lot of changes in this area in 2009. I'd also like to get rid of my Shop-aholic tendencies ;o/ I'd like to read the Bible, 20 books, etc...BUT

The goals that are trying to skydive out of my brain into reality this year are the ones that relate to career choice and passion-pursuit. I have this intense desire to WRITE and PUBLISH books. I read once that 90% of the population in America wants to write a book at some point in their life. But SO few do it. Maybe 5% of those? And how many of those get published...I think it was something crazy like 20% of the 5%. I really would like to think that ONE of my TEN ideas could become a real book. How do I break out of the wannabe zone?

I set some goals in 2009 to get my books done or submit them for publishing, but it has only been over the last couple months that I've really taken to reading some serious publishing books. I get more and more excited with each page I read (good sign, I think) but the major problem lies in my current lifestyle: I work full time. I am exhausted and spent at the end of each day, and I am usually only able to squeeze 4-5 hours of SERIOUS writing each week. I could do more on the weekends, but I want to spend as much quality time with my husband as I can.

So, I had coffee with a wonderful contact through work yesterday. He challenged me to do some writing/publishing and just run with it. Even if I have to self-publish. And he challenged me to do it NOW/SOON/IMMEDIATELY/BEFORE WE HAVE KIDS/WHEN I'M YOUNG AND FULL OF IDEAS!

So I have been in a sort of dazed stupor as I face the decision of what to do. Do I just jump off the cliff and pursue my dream? All the books I read tell me that I should. "Just go for it. Make the sacrifice of income vs. passion and happiness. What better time to be poor than when you're young?" But...then the voice of reason and logic pops in. Plus it's not that I don't enjoy what I do as a recruiter, but it's just not as much as I would love writing for a living.

I can't wait until the only question I am debating over is whether I should submit proposals like a crazy woman to get into a publisher, or self-publish.

God, please give me guidance and strength to make the right decision!