Sucking at Blogging

I think a lot of people struggle with the worry that they suck at blogging. They are discouraged daily by the 0-2 responses in the "comments" section. This leads to more infrequent entries, and eventually just giving up. I have fallen subject to this suck-blog-syndrome, and I've decided that I'm not going to set any more goals. BUT, I'm also not going to care whether people comment or not. I'm going to use my blog as a journal, and people can come or go as they like. If no one comes and goes, I don't even care. Writing is a muscle and mine needs to be exercised.

I'm going to stop caring that the formatting sucks and I can't quite figure out how to get a picture and the font format changed for my title. Maybe I'll figure it out, and maybe I won't. But I'm done caring what other people think. A blog should be for the blogger. And I need to write. No apologies :)

In a perfect world, a blog would be a marketplace of sharing information. It definitely increases in productivity and excitement on visitors and the author's part as traffic increases, just like any mall or market in real life would. But I found the most adorable resale boutique shop in Davenport yesterday, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Mint-Green-Boutique/193726916916, and I was the only one there. That didn't decrease how awesome it was, and even if it's never a bustling store, I will continue to go back. SO, that reminded me that all I can offer is my best...and my most authentic self...and at least I know God cares how I feel. He likes to see me share my heart and bare my heart, and by His grace this will result in bringing him glory that he so deserves.

I have heard recently (wellll...I started hearing this over a year ago) that blogging was out and twitter was in. Let's be honest though, 140 characters?! Can we really share our heart or explain ourselves in 140 letters? I don't think blogging or article writing will ever be obsolete. People long for more. That's why books are still being written and bought by the millions everyday. So me and my not-so-smart-phone will keep on blogging and twitter will get the occasional update or link. I'm old school, yes. Do I want to be?  Yes. So here's to another chance in the blog-o-sphere. Cheers!


Other old school things I like (besides writing/visiting blogs):
-Homemade pie crust
-home videos on VHS
-engagements where he gets down on one knee
-yearbooks
-tanning in the real sun
-bicycles (even if I have no biking skills...and can usually run further than I can bike)
-Girl scout lemon creme cookies (that they have discontinued...much to my dismay)
-The radio. Especially radio dramas like Adventures in Odyssey
-Peanut Butter and Jelly and Grilled Cheese sandwiches

Twins!

So I have a new babysitting job. It's FABULOUS. Here's my haiku about it:

Twin one-year-old boys.

Vishnu and Anju are cute.

They are sleeping now.

I can get online/write when they're sleeping and they take 2 naps per day! This afternoon they're going to the doctor to get their 1 year old shots, so it may not be the most fun afternoon. But a typical day in the life is pretty fun.

I get here in the morning, where usually they're still asleep. When they wake up, I change their diapers, give them their bottles and feed them breakfast. Then onto bath time. It gets a little bit crazy when I give them both a bath at the same time, but usually their mom is here helping me watch one while I bathe the other one.

One can walk, and the other is pretty wobbly so he crawls most of the time. Then they take their morning naps before lunch and some afternoon play time. It's so cool to get to know another culture (Indian) and really feel welcome in their home.

I'll have to post a picture of them when I get one on my camera. But for now...here's to twins!! (and the hope that they sprinkle lots of baby dust over me everyday.)

Prayer

My mom just gave me some articles that she found while cleaning out her office that she thought I'd find useful.

One magazine was from 1996, which is awesome. The pictures in it are classic.

There was an awesome article in it on prayer that struck a chord with me. In the article, Becka Tirabassi talks about how she went to a conference and the speaker said something that completely spoke to her heart and called her to the plate. He said, "Prayerlessness in the life of a believer is sin." She realized that that calls her and other Christians to decide if they're going to live in sin or not.

Even though all her life she had said "I'm too busy" I'm too tired" "It doesn't do anything" "It takes too much time" "It's boring" and "Prayer is for old people," she decided to challenge herself. She would pray for an hour everyday because it was the least she could do after everything God had done for her.

It was just an awesome article about how God showed up and she learned to cherish that time with Him. She has a my PART, and God's PART. Her part has four sections : Praise, Admit, Request, and Thanks. She prayed in a journal so as to keep track. His part consists of LMNOP (no acronym apparently lol) Listening, Messages (going through sermon notes), New and Old Testaments, and Proverbs. She also has a "to do" section in the binder where she makes notes of what she feels God is calling her to do (write a note to someone, etc.)

I was hugely convicted while reading this 14 year old article, because now more than ever...since I'm working more part-time, I should be able to make this time with God. If I can't do it now, when I'm not holding a full time job, I obviously don't care enough to make prayer a huge part of my life. (Because I somehow never cease to find the time to workout, get on facebook, or watch a TV show.) I'm going to try this method, probably more like 30 or 45 minutes at first, but I think I'm going to love it. I'm going to make a commitment to God, and then set the timer and keep it. (as recommended by the article.)

The Test: I did this last night, and right when I set the timer and set my phone to the side...I got a call from Kevin reminding me that I was supposed to be at his office for a work function I had committed to. I raced off to the event, frustrated as ever. But later last night I got a chance to spend time in the word and writing my prayers out to God. It was so refreshing and so needed. It's been way too long since I made it a huge priority in my life.

I pray that you guys would think about prayer more as "the heartthrob of the believer's life" -Dr. Ole Hallesby

~Future prayer warrior

Friends

If you knew that you were hurting people, would you stop

or get up and move?

If you knew that you were living exclusively,

would you invite more to your banquet table?

If you knew that your friends were alone

would you step out of the world of you?

If you asked me these questions, I don't know what my answer would be.

I know it's a harsh world. I know it's hard to love others as you love yourself. I DO NOT profess to be perfect or close.

But if you would have asked me a year ago, would I ever have written this with you in mind?

That answer I know. I would have said no.

But now we question everything. What are your grounds for friendship? Do you have criteria? What was our friendship based on? And questioning those you thought loved you unconditionally hurts.

What is a friend? Someone who hangs out with you for a time because it's convenient and fun? Maybe it goes a big deeper than that. Perhaps people become friends because they have a lot in common and they make each other laugh. Maybe those people feel like they can be themselves, flaws and all, with a friend. Vulnerability. Loyalty.

I would hope that among Christians, it's deeper than all of those things. Christian friendship is a bond of brotherhood or sisterhood that should unite us in our struggle against flesh and blood. It's an eternal partnership. It should be a relationship where we can be flawed and confess to one another. Accountability. Strength. Biblical. Romans 12:15, "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."

Are there boundary lines for Christian friendship? Yes. There are times in the Bible were Jesus explains that friends can be cut off. We are to confront a Christian brother if he is living in sin. If he doesn't change, we are instructed to bring another Christian friend to confront him with. If he still doesn't respond, bring him in front of the Church. Only after a triple try and a triple refusal of that friend to live out the will of God should we cut our friendship short. It takes a bold Christian friend to confront this intentionally, and I think it's awesome that we have Biblical mandates that are this bold.

Whether you are a Christian or not, siblings are usually great friends because you're united by flesh and blood. You are family. That's why Jesus' friendship to humanity is described as stronger than even this bond. "there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." And for the first time in my life, this verse means something substantial to me. Some of our friends have left us. Our very closest friends live far away. We feel lonely in the friendship sense for the first time in our very social lives. Praise GOD that he is a friend when we need that. He can be a loving father, but he can also be a best friend. I used to say that Jesus was my friend. But I didn't get it, nor do I think I truly meant it. I didn't get it because I thought I didn't need it. Shame on me for not realizing this sooner!!

But oh nellie. =) When your friends in Christ stop including you in their lives because of a difference in theological beliefs, you need Jesus more than ever. It's a freakin lonely world down here without a loving, forgiving community around you. And this is NOT to say that we don't have wonderful friends who have been with us. Thank you to everyone who has surrounded us in prayer and physically in this dark season of our lives. It's just the idea of being forgotten by old friends. Frienships that we thought ran much deeper.

I would love to say that I never have or never will wrongfully abandon or fail my friends or family. I'm writing this to my selfish self too. I would love to say that I will never cease to be there for people when they most need me. But I can't promise that. I'm asking for forgiveness if I have failed you as a friend or sister in Christ. and I'm deeply sorry if I have ever hurt you the way we are hurting right now.

We are all failures and broken and human. Thank God for redemption.

(and we're getting a dog. I heard they're pretty rockin at the whole friendship thing.)

Writing

Being a writer is being persistent and consistent in your blogging efforts, even if you don't even have 2 followers (see: my other blog).

Being a writer is writing because you love it, even when no one ever comments on your blogs.

Being a writer is sometimes hard in "this economy" because instead of writing what you want to, you waste hours online trying to make money writing freelance articles, and reading freelance articles about how to write freelance articles.

Writing is hard sometimes because you feel like your thoughts and work is less valid somehow if it isn't somehow available to the public via: internet.

Writing is cool because you can write how you feel. It just becomes harder when your feelings are a jumbled pile of crazy-ness that is hard to transfer into letters and sentences. (as difficult as untangling a tiny necklace chain that has been knotted up --> Can be EXTREMELY tedious and frustrating at times.)

Writing is...what I love. And I'm excited to write to change the world. I bet if you're over the age of 25, you're thinking, "aww, that's cute. She wants to change the world. Good luck with that." But you'll see...it's all about luck, talent, and persistence. If you have 2 out of those 3, you WILL make it. And Persistence I have control over.

Good night friends. I hope you are living with the purpose of accomplishing all of your dreams and hopes. EVEN and especially when people don't think you can.

And if you aren't, I sure hope you love the life you've fallen into anyway. We only live once. We might as well be doing what we love.

Million Dollar Mouth

This grill was the most expensive one I could find, and it listed for 10,000 dollars.

Let me tell you something that totally disgusts me. My mouth is worth more than that!!! And I am and have always been a brush-and-floss-and-rinse-a-haulic. (not kidding!)

I like to say, it all started when I was the second born child. I heard a mother's nutrients are depleted so the subsequent children's bones and teeth may not be as strong. Or it could be hereditary; my dad's mouth is worth robbing too.

Thank GOD they use white fillings and crowns now. I had my first filling probably around age 6. I had silver fillings back then, which were cool for about a day. I continued to have cavities filled as I grew out of my baby teeth and into my adult teeth. It was no better a situation. I have probably had 15+ (at least 1800 dollars worth) fillings in my lifetime. Do we even have that many molars?!

We started to think that my dentist was making them up because I was the only one in my family getting these outrageously unclean bills of dental health. So, we switched dentists and my mouth was surprisingly uneventful for a few years. :D

Then, I went to college and decided that I should get braces. I had a couple minor issues (we're talking, one bottom tooth out of line, and a top tooth that stuck out about 2 milimeters in front of its neighbor). BUT, since I was still owned and paid for by my parents, I decided to whine about getting braces. I only had them on for 10 months, and when I got them off (3,000 dollars later), of course more cavities had developed in the areas that are virtually impossible to brush with braces.

Since that point in college, I have had another 7 fillings and a root canal. Sadly, in just 8 days I'll be getting my second root canal/crown (1600 dollars). What a sad joke, that fails to make me laugh. This American life is EXPENSIVE!! Can I get an amen?

Thank goodness for dental insurance, and parents who taught me to brush, floss and rinse.

At least I still have all of my teeth, and thanks to cosmetic dentistry, you probably couldn't even tell by looking in my mouth. (See last picture of me on my last blog...)

Brush your teeth, children. And lay off of the soda and candy. Like me =)

PS. Don't forget to check out my new writer's blog: www.keepyourbuttinchair.blogspot.com

Jamaica Pictures and A new blog!

Kevin was a true stud on the trapeze in Jamaica! We have some videos of us doing it too. Pretty flipping exhilarating! --haha no pun intendedWe got up early on our last morning (5:30) and went out to see the sunrise over the ocean. It was beautiful, except for the mosquitos who loved our white-person blood. We wrote each other messages in the sand, and had the whole beach to ourselves.
This tree would have taken like 10 people's arms stretched out to hug it completely. It was sweet. The golf course was a little dry, but Jamaica is still a cool (well hot, but neat) place to make my debut on the golf course. =)
I got a Par 3!! Then I got really tired and bored, and the $25 cart sounded really good right around the 5th hole.
We had fun photo shoots in our room, as usual. I selected this one because we actually have a little tan, and you can't see our wet swimming suits in the background, and we're just goofy like this. (Speaking of swimsuits (plural), props to Tina for letting me borrow 8 swimsuits and look totally stylish/diversify my tan lines the whole time! Girlfriends rock!)

So today concludes my first week of writing full-time! Let me just say: it was a blast. I got to spring-clean our house, blog more than 2 times in a week, read LOTS of chapters in other books, go to the library (and check out 20 books that I cannot forget to return on time), and type type type away on my little laptop!

I also started a blog called "Butt in Chair" to relate to my writing career. This blog will remain as my personal blog. =) the domain name is http://www.keepyourbuttinchair.blogspot.com. Every professional writer will tell you that it's one of their biggest challenges, keeping their butt in the chair and actually writing. So...here's to the future...and lots of hours with my butt spent in a chair!