Monday, October 13, 2008

Leadership...and being broken

If you need an inspiring book, check out "Tribes by Seth Godin. This book is awesome!!
It's not explicitly Christian, but it talks about how this world desperately needs leaders, and we are those leaders! "Managing" is out, and being innovative and fresh is in. (I can't wait to read more than the first 20 pages I read on the elliptical this morning.)

I know I need to be reading books like this rather than the trash magazines hanging on the rack on the wall because they inspire me to MOVE!

I've felt so called lately to step it up in my leadership. My small group girls are counting on me to pray for them, and I've encountered a ton of situations lately that I have the potential to lead or start a movement in, but sometimes you need something to nudge you forward. I think this book will help me.

On another note, God totally broke me last night. I didn't know why, but I was just feeling really angry. I was getting upset at Kevin for the stupidest reasons, and I knew he wasn't the entire cause of my anger. I was just impatient and longing...and as I laid down to bed, thinking sleep would be enough of an escape, I almost robotically got up and started writing in my journal. That never happens...I'm usually spent and out of creative energy to write at the end of the day. So, I started writing and it turned into a prayer. And my prayer turned into questions. SO MANY QUESTIONS I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD! Why do people abuse their kids? Why am I angry sometimes? Why do I worry about money when I've NEVER been without? Why am I horrible at fasting? Why does it hurt so much to be broken? In which ways have I been growing in the wrong direction that I need to be broken from? Why does divorce happen? Where is a mentor in my life right now? And then I just started crying, and I couldn't stop. It was the ultimate state of brokenness. I haven't been broken in more than a year, and it was unexpected. It was so necessary...and I'm still in this state. I feel vulnerable and excited. I feel tired and enthused. I feel like SEEKING with all my heart, and I haven't felt like this in a few months. I'm just so thankful that God never lets us go. That he wants us to bring our burdens to him, even when we don't know what they are, and free us from them. THANK YOU LORD!!

I think that as I get built back up, by prayer and reading and fasting, I will be able to lead better than I ever have before!

1 comment:

atom woman said...

I found your blog again! and now i'm really subscribed. love the use of the model pictures :) my sister is so hott. thanks for chatting w/ me today - i love hearing about your adventures!
ps this is jill - apparently my google blog id is atom woman ... hmm